#its worse they act like im doing it for diet culture and to make them feel bad about their eating like hHHH

[leon-on-the-froggy-chair]

ranting abt personal life stuff because i have fRUSTRATIONS, to be deleted.

I love being treated like an annoyance because of my stances on companies and brands and my choices to not purchase or support my friends/family in purchasing from them and getting told off about how I'm a poseur and should put my energy into something more important and how I'm cringe. By mfs who cant live without buying chic fil a and starbucks and then TELLING ME like

bruh. dawg.

OOoOOo how dare i dont wanna eat mid chicken and prefer to make coffee at home

[delimeful]

First time they saw Patton cuddling with Virgil? (Like y’know the energy thing maybe?) Or Virgil protecting the three of them from some other alien?

Okay, now that Making Adjustments is out in full, I’m posting all the asks that inspired me for certain parts or even just to continue writing! Thank you to everyone who sent in ideas/what they wanted to see/theories, I really appreciate it! All asks under the cut!

@ironwoman359 said: I’d be really interested to read about what the first week or two aboard the ship with all four of them was like. I’m sure it was a big adjustment for all of them, and it’d be really cool to see!

@skeletonsloverockcandy said: WINBAR prompt - Virgil’s first night on the ship, is not with Patton, and gets a nightmare. Logan finds him and Virgil has to explain his nightmare/dreams

@the-princey-pie said: Logan mentioned that Virgil would probbaly have trouble fitting through the space ship doors. Now I really want to see Vorgil stepping into their spaceship the first time/navigating it for the first few weeks.

@indigomasquerade97 said: WIBAR prompt. Virgil is Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. You know the scene I’m talking about! ;) Roman is still freaked out with the idea of having a human on board, and one night (maybe on patrol, since he is still jittery from loosing Patton and doesn’t want to loose him - or Logan - again) and he gets freaked out by the nocturnal human suddenly being in the room? IDK

Anonymous said: So. I was wondering for the WIBAR prompts, what was Virgil’s first night on the ship like? How did Roman and Logan act towards him? And is he worried that his relationship with Patton is going to change now that he’s back with his family? Sorry if this is a lot…

Anonymous said: WIBAR prompt idea: Food! Since food is often culturally connected for humans, would it be the same for our alien friends? And if they have any, from Virgil’s pov., strange food items etc. Would be interesting to see considering they are all from such different species. :D

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: WIBAR: did Patton tell his crewmates how to interpret Virgil’s body language? Did they figure it out for themselves? Did they struggle to remember when they saw him smile or stretch (and make himself big) or something?

Anonymous said: I would love to see some V POV or adjustment period/cultural differences! (particularly L/R’s reactions to V smiling, differences in diet/hunting styles, what V considers a threat vs. what LMP consider threats… anything that highlights the deathworlder in Virg! (Space Australia is like my fav thing that came out of tumblr)) also maybe some more of L/R’s thoughts on Patton befriending a space boogieman?? I really really love this au! :)

Anonymous said: OoOOooh okay how about,, Virgil’s POV as they head back to Roman and Logan’s ship and get on, (and maybe if he doesn’t know the species Logan and Roman are he could ask? That seems the easiest way for us to learn more about the boys without it being too awkwardly shoved in) and V’s probably awkward because he doesn’t know Lo and Ro and Ro’s openly hostile and he wasn’t expecting to go along with them and idk you decide. Also :DD wibar’s not done yet!! Tysm; I’m really enjoying it!

@bishopriecke said: Okay, so I’ve got a couple prompts so I’ll send them separately in case that’s how you’d wanted them? The story is absolutely adorable and it made me think of the sleeping habits back on the ship. There’s space for Virgil, but will Pat gravitate to sleeping with him, since it was such a comfort and Virgil only gets sleepy if he snags energy during cuddles? If he’s tired/virgil’s stressing over something will he wander over to where Virgil is chilling and settle in his lap? How’s Ro&Lo react?

@bumblebeekitten said: Do any of the others attempt to learn Virgil’s language? Or maybe Virgil quietly tries to dispel some of the more hurtful rumors about ‘deathworlder humans’?

Anonymous said: What would wibar Roman and Logan do if they couldn’t find Patton? Would they assume Virgil had done something?

Anonymous said: While waiting for more WIBAR, I keep re-reading everything (Act 1, Intermission, all the world building asks). Right now, I just want to plead with Patton to go find Virgil as he needs comfort, to calmly tell Logan that I don’t blame him, and to hiss at Roman that, while he has had bad experiences and that is valid, he needs to be nicer. Granted, a reaction like that from a human fan-nut probably wouldn’t help Virgil’s case… but he needs a hug so much right now!

Anonymous said: i’m thinking there’s lots of potential for hurt/comfort with this chapter. Virgil’s obviously panicking so i reckon he’s gonna have to try and convince himself that he can trust Patton if not the others. i feel like virgil still wont trust the others but they’ll get to see that he’s not always this big, strong deathworlder and he gets scared just like them. he’s been traumatised and he cares for Patt a lot and theyll try to understand eachother better and hopefully become friends/gain some trust

Anonymous said: that is very much wishful think and a need for my boys to be happy though haha. soz, that probably wasnt very helpful for writing but thats just something i’d like to see happen but i KNOW that whatever you end up writing is gonna be fabulous (ran out of room on my last ask and couldnt even sign it, whoops)

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: I’m mainly really curious how Roman will react. If he has even have as big of an imagination as buobba Roman then he will probably interpret Virgil’s outburst as a violent attack and try to frame him as a danger they shouldn’t keep on the ship. However if he was able to detect Virgil’s fear then this might be the first step of them growing closer. Idk which I like better, because on one hand I want them to to get along and witness wacky human things in an amicable atmosphere, but on the other hand, misunderstandings are soooo good!!!! Most of all I want Virgil to get a hug though. Poor boy deserves one. I don’t care with who it is, although I suspect it will be Patton because no way the other ones trust Virgil enough and vice versa.

@yalltookmyurlideas said: Haha wibar fears? There are,,, so many. My main fear is that Roman will misinterpret Virgil’s panic to mean he’s hiding something and not see it for the panic and fear it is.

Anonymous said: I was thinking about for WIBAR, are we going to find out more about Virgils life on Earth? Is there angst there or is it irrelevant? Also would Logan and Roman go after Virgil themselves so as not to worry Pat or would they realise this was a situation they couldn’t solve? OR does Roman think V is attacking them and goes to hurt him? Sorry long ask but I’m excited for the chapter 😅😅🥰🥰

Anonymous said: Ayyy super late gang, barely got a hour of sleep bc anxiety/nightmares so yeehaw. I guess for WIBAR, the most essential thing to consider is how you want Making Adjustments to sorta add onto its characters & how they interact. Idk that ofc, but I think the situation is going to resolve into a ‘im only human’ (the irony) kinda situation and the crew (maybe minus patton??) only /starting/ to grasp the human is a bunch of damaged goods who is lowkey more scared of them than they are of he (½)

Anonymous said: (2/2) how i see the situation going down? Depends who finds him. If it’s Pat, he could sing him clam like in the cell. If its Roman or Logan, odds are Virgil’s gonna b scared & his response will be to Fight or Freeze, as he already did the Flight option. Virgil reacting like a cornered animal would be terrifying Ro and Lo. (Also Ro and Lo going to wake up Pat for Human Help has the same vibes of a child waking up their parents to tell them they puked lmao)

@killerfangirl3 said: After where you left last chapter, I am 100% terrified Roman will find Virgil before Patton and cause real danger to everyone. After all Virgil is flooded with adrenaline right now and he barely knows how his strength affects the metal? of the ship as it is. The sudden increase in strength if he was attempting to defend himself could cause him to put a hole in the ship.

@hotchocolatehugs said: Oh! Also, would Virgil calm down if Patton found him, or would it just make him worse/more crazed? I dunno about his state of mind, but if I were in his position I would probably be acting aggressively to anyone who came in. Do aliens have hot chocolate or tea, or some equivalent drink? Because I think Virge needs a calming drink. (sorry if this is too much!)

Anonymous said: I saw your latest post and all I could think about is Virgil stuck on the appliance, really high up and close to the ceiling unseen while he sees Roman and Logan below. Maybe a bit of a language barrier while they say some words that Virgil may not no yet and jumping to conclusions and filling in the blanks in the sentences

Anonymous said: I’m afraid that In WIBAR, Roman may keep Pat from going to find and comfort Virgil and just…leave him up there

@katelynn-a-fan said: Mission impossible theme while looking for Virgil. Too short can’t see Virgil on top appliance. Mission impossible theme continues and fades into the distance. (That’s all I got)

Anonymous said: WIBAR suggestions/predictions/fears: I worry about Roman or Logan finding Virgil before Patton - Roman because I don’t think he will be understanding about how afraid Virgil is; Logan because I think that would scare Virgil more. He might break out of his flight stage into fight, and that could make them fear him more. But, while worry about this scenario, maybe it would be for the best. Maybe one or both need to find him at a low to see that he isn’t a monster, just scared.

@enby-phoenix said:

OK so wibar thoughts! I’m a little concerned that Roman will think that Virgil was genuinely trying to attack him with that chair and also probably trying to hurt Logan, and he’s gonna get upsetti. I also think that the way they figure out what’s made Virgil go all fight or flight will probably involve Logan doing the memory share thing, but it’ll take them a bit to get close enough without Virgil threatening to bite Logan’s hands off.

Also PLEASE let my boy eat a full meal and get some proper sleep!

I would also love to see Virgil curled around Patton protectively but everyone knows that it’s Patton who’s making Virgil feel safe.

Another prediction is that Logan, realizing that SOMETHING bad just happened, and knowing that all his information on humans seems to be incorrect or at least not apply to this one, will go to Patton for advice on what to do regarding Virgil’s sudden change of behavior, and how to calm him down again. Cause Patton is the resident expert on Virgil.

I also imagine that Logan might keep his note taking to himself again for a bit, until Virgil believes that he’s not the bad kind of scientist.

I love that Virgil climbed on top of the tallest thing he could find, and I imagine that if it’s above everyone else’s usual eyelines, they each walk past him multiple times while they’re worriedly searching the ship for him.

I’m mostly imagining Virgil clinging to Patton like a lifeline and the other two aliens worrying for their tiny friend but Patton knows that Virgil is just scared and sings him the “calm down baby it’s okay I’m here” hatchling soothing song until Virgil calms down a little, and then still staying with him while explanations are had. They do not come out of the small space on top of the tallest appliance and Roman doesn’t like that but he’ll deal.

Now that I’m thinking about it more, one of the best ways for Logan to gain (at least a little bit of) Virgil’s trust would be for Virgil to see his honest reaction to what the other scientists did to him. Cause based on what I know of Logan, he would be horrified. And that might help Virgil to realize that Logan ISN’T LIKE those other scientists.

Anonymous said: *gets out the defibrillator to help kickstart the creative juices* At this point Virgil is running on fumes and when the trio find him Patton tries to comfort him. But he’s too stressed and feels betrayed and there’s just too much inner turmoil for him to hold back so he finally breaks down in front of them. Perhaps it’s not Patton that manages to calm him down, but Roman who finally recognizes him as a traumatized person rather than “just an evil human” :D

@enby-phoenix said: tbh Virgil probably hisses at either Logan or Roman at some point and it makes them nervous and confused.

Anonymous said: Roman forcing Virgil down from his hiding spot. 'Blade’ to his neck and tying him to a chair. Virgil thinking that he shouldn’t have run and that they are going to be even angrier at him now, ergo more painful experiments. Begging to be put under for the cutting away and to please don’t get mad at Patton (just in case Patton was trying to be a good friend).

Anonymous said: Suggestion for WIBAR - Roman goes looking for Virgil, all ready for a confrontation. But, when he finds him, Virgil unknowingly makes some sort of gesture that means fear/terror to Roman’s people and he stops and evaluates the situation with clearer eyes. This gives Patton/Logan/both a chance to get there.

Anonymous said: Can we get somr wibar fluff/angst?

Anonymous said: I’m just waiting for WIBAR Virgil to just pass out and the panic of everyone that sees him. Or Roman threatening him or Logan goes to touch him and BAM he’s on the floor!

Anonymous said: Stuff for WIBAR: 1: who’s gonna find Virgil? 2: what’re they gonna do with him? 3: how’s he gonna react? – Options: Patton: tries to comfort him Virgil: can’t decide whether to trust or not, maybe leading to emotional outburst and sad PatPat – Logan: scared cuz danger goblin had an outburst at him. Wondering what he did wrong & how to best proceed Virgil: 'he’s gonna do tests on me’ fight or flight – Roman: 'so, if you hurt my friends imma hurt you’ Virgil: fight or flight – ½

Anonymous said: 2/2 Of course those aren’t the only options, but it was fun for me, and I hope it got creative juices flowing for you as well. I love all your writing, and I want you to know that you can take as long as you need to be proud of your work. It’s okay. And take care of yourself too! You can’t make as good of work when you aren’t feeling as good as usual

[beaten-upfox]

ii had a post about that almost 30yo person who mocked “shitty vent” artists, pilling up vent comics with cringe-culture (as thats still a thing by now) and guilt-tripping others intentionally and i wanted to add my two cents on it since it targeted me(? not specifically, just “people like me”) but my computer force restarted on me so i lost everything coherent i wrote in it; so here’s some things i wrote in using just a few broad sentences

-they said it themselves that that post wasnt supposed to be so popular, ironically, “criticizing” something so specific, and kinda popular, is going to easily get traction

-giving the benefit of the doubt and assuming they criticized JUST the people who do it to publicly to vague someone and guilt trip them when they see the post; not only that that petty attitude existed way before vent comics existed, it can also be easily ignored. 

Person doesnt know u and vagues about u to seem like a victim? they dont know u, just ignore them, theyre doing just that, playing the victim. You don’t need other strangers opinions of you. Theyre strangers.

Person is a good bud/friend of yours? Ask them about it, no relationship is worth feeling like youre hurting someone you care for, if youre truly certain theyre talking about you, they probably just dont trust you as much as you’d like. Comfort them and reassure them that you want them to be open to you and they shouldnt be afraid when theyre upset

but they werent referring to that, they specifically targeted “shitty vent furries”. This happens with any fad that gains traction. They included it into cringe culture, because its not something high effort, its something (not always!) that is just feeling, intensity, scribbles; theyre just like “lol look at these weirdos theyre trying so hard to be relatable! lol its unhealthy to be this way! I pretend im caring when i really dont give a crap! I have a superiority complex lol! im a good person!” This “type” of art, of just blunt feelings or imagery is used in therapy to help the patient more often than not. And if people don’t hurt themselves or others, it’s really completely not harmful.  And guess what! There are a lot of kids! That draw stuff like this, trying to figure out their emotions. Their art might not be the best or not even make any sense. Maybe to you it feels like super mundane, but for them it feels really really bad. There are a lot of mentally ill people, kids, adults!, using it as just, like i do, a way to express the “obsessive thoughts”. In the end its not the artist’s responsibility to take care of the “kids” on the internet. (aside of tagging things appropriately, it’s not their fault some just look up for this stuff? they dont want to feel alone, even if it can be toxic, but really we werent talking about this were we?)

Why did you feel the need to just categorize something into cringe culture when its something that has traction to teens and the mentally ill?  (just my complete personal experience with this type of art under the readmore feel free to ignore)

in my personal experience, vent art has helped me stop so many of my worse coping mechanisms, self harm, usage of (unprescribed) drugs, smoking, drinking, not eating, just to name a few. Sure some of i still do, like smoking, not eating (unintentionally!) but ive gotten better

I’m trying to remain anonymous, i try to only talk about myself, and my experiences, i want people to know theyre not alone, but what happens with me does not mean it happens with everyone, so please dont say that im talking about everyone else’s experience ever, because im not. I’m talking about how fishy I think it is about someone talking about a petty act and targeting it towards people who most of the time use it as a coping mechanism. Dont assume the worst in people, but dont assume the best intent either.

of course it took more than just a few scribbles on a computer screen or paper, more initiative, like proper sleep and diets, people helping me. But for a huge portion of my life i didnt have anyone to help me, art has helped me get started into getting better. I wasnt shunned when i just scribbled things on paper, drew blood (as in painting not.. yknow), seeing people freely expressing themselves, no matter their skill, helped me know im not actually as alone as i thought.

I am very sleepy, this is completely out of the ordinary, but i want you to know, you who are reading this right now, when uve gotten so far into my blabberings, thank you for looking, or even listening. You don’t have to agree with me but it is what it is. People are different, and have different experiences. All im saying is that, it feels youre out of control, and when people just insult something, even if you may consider it cringey, theyre insulting a person, and youre just calling their emotions cringe. Imagine that. People are not exempt from criticism. Any type of art isnt exempt from it. But this type of “Criticism” is very specific and its really unnecessary/vague. Irony!

[exquisitelyeco]

Slave or master.........my precious?

Today I want to talk about Gollom, or Smeagol, as his real name was, from Lord of the Rings. I have touched on him before. And I want to go deeper. J. R. R. Tolkien hit on something really profound in the character of Smeagol. Basically, Smeagol found the one ring. The MAIN ring. Made by the evil Lord Sauron, to control all the other rings, he had helped make. He deceived the elves and tricked them. But, when all looked lost, the ring was cut from his finger. By Isildor. But it’s power of evil and mans greed for control, tricked Isildor, who took it for himself. Instead of destroying it. He was killed within the hour. But he did so much worse. He BOUND his entire bloodline to the ring. (Bloodline is SERIOUS. And can cause untold damage. I will post of that another time) and because of that, his bloodline was cursed. Until such a time, thousands of years later, one stood up and did what was right. But it took THOUSANDS of years for that to happen. So the ring fell into the Anduin river, and all thought it was lost. What carelessness and stupidity, not to check! Carelessness, no wonder God said we will be judged for it! How many die, each day, purely down to their own carelessness or somebody else’s? Another blog entry for another time…. And Gollums friend Deagol found it. Almost immediately it’s evil came alive and Smeagol murdered Deagol to get it. He became outcast. And fled into the darkness……what a parallel! He was eaten away by the ring, until he was a mockery, a hideous shadow of who he really was. Eventually, the ring consumed him, literally, in the fires of Mount Doom, they perished together.

Why did he have two names? Why both Smeagol and Gollum? Smeagol was the person he really was. A water hobbit. Small, hardworking and jolly, if it was anything like the kind of hobbit Bilbo, who found the ring, from Gollum…..was. But the evil of the ring, and Smeagol own choices to keep it, wrought a terrible change in him. He could not forgive himself for the murder of Deagol, because he would not let go of the ring. The ring needed to be let go of, so he could have and been free from it’s evil. But it’s evil and his choice to keep it hounded him. Day after day. Year after year. And he began to make sounds in his throat, a Gollum sound, gulping. And he earned the name of Gollum, which was the name that ultimately killed him. Hiding in the darkness changed his appearance. He lost much of his hair, and the rest became like string. He lost many of his teeth. The remaining ones became sharp, due to his change in diet. Rather than eating normal food, he now ate raw food, but worse, even orcs, the same kind of meat as a human. His eyes grew used to the dark so much, that he hated both the sun and moon. Who he was, totally had changed. Inside and out. Because of his choice to do and live with evil. And I see the parallel with us. Sin, (Or our damage, for a different way of saying it) causes us to change. It makes a mockery of who we originally were. And like Gollum, the more we choose evil, the more we refuse to change our habits and belief systems, the more of a mockery we become.

In our culture today, and since the word ‘teenager’ was coined in the 50’s, every generation has blamed youth for being rebellious and selfish. But you know what? I have learned that is a lie. Sure, teenagers are selfish and rebellious! But it does not REMAIN in them! It’s part of their growing up and learning who they are! But the baby boomers, those who were born into the luxury of the new National health service. The new support from the government, if you were unemployed, benefits if you became ill or disabled. Where food was now abundant. New appliances changed the whole way of life and made it easier. Some of this generation are disgraceful. Rude, grasping, and not wanting others, like the Pharisees, to have what they have had. I have had more judgement, more rude treatment, more contempt and lack of thanks and help from this generation than any other. And they should know so much better. Don’t get me wrong. As I said, they are not all like that! But from my own, personal experience of that, there are more I personally have come across, that ARE like that, than not. Take the mats for the door step. One states ‘Living it up on our children’s inheritance’ that’s is disgusting. The bible states that good parents leave an inheritance for their children. Be it money or character. But the point I am trying to make, is they have not learned. They are still totally selfish in their attitude. It’s all about ME. Yes. This culture is too. But so many more in this generation, could teach us SO much! They have so much knowledge and understanding. But they refuse to use it. They hide their light under a basket. And the most horrid and worrying thing is, they will not CHANGE. They have become set in their ways. And I see more Gollums everyday. More attitude, more blaming others, more lack of responsibility from them. Wanting everyone else to pick up responsibilities for them. Thinking it their right. Thinking we owe it to them. Moaning how much they have put in, and yet how MUCH have they taken out? And it’s still not enough. But worse, they do not want anybody else to have it!

Sadly I do not know many wise, kind older people. I see many older people trying to act like younger people but with an attitude that reminds me of the smell of dog shit. What an example! It’s disgusting. Recently I have had so many problems with these people. And been hurt by them. Even bitten by one of their dogs, which went for my guide dog, but got me, and they walked off! Every young person will either ask, or I hear their parents explain, a guide dog is a working dog. Not to be petted. Now if people ask me, and I am not busy, I LOVE to stop and talk! To explain how my sight works, how my guide dog got her very special name. How guide dogs have changed my life. And let them pet her. But this generation hardly EVER ask! So this one lady, her dog was not controlled. She was talking, taking up the whole pavement, which was narrow. There were three or four of them. All chatting, standing blocking the way. So getting past, without being hit by a car was not good. And her dog went for my guide dog. I asked her to keep her dog under control. Her response was unbelievable. She said ‘Go away!’ Like I was a piece of dog crap. She kept on saying it. Her husband, who should have known better, backed her up. I was disgusted and walked away. And as I did she was still being provocative being rude. I tell you, I wanted to smash her face in. Rude, uneducated, spoilt bitch. Just like her dog was. Her dog was unhappy and discontented. And because this lady was not open, one day her dog will go for somebody, and she will be forced to put it down. Her own fault. What a lack of love and care for her poor dog. She is a Gollum, loud and clear.

Another lady. My dog and I are in a shop, Onska is being perfectly well behaved and patient. Waiting for me to finish, so she can guide me to the counter to pay. A lady next to me, bends down and stokes her. I say, ‘Please don’t stroke her, she is working.’ I could not BELIEVE what she said next! It literally still blows me away! She said ‘No, she’s not!’ I couldn’t believe what I had just heard! I said ‘Yes, she is!’ The cheek of this lady was totally shocking. She then looks down at my guide dog and she states, ‘Now, WE’RE in trouble’ NO, Madam! YOU are in trouble! Rude, disgusting, pathetic behaviour from somebody of an age to know so much better. Gollum. All of us can act like this, no matter what age we are. But having help and guidance from our elders is vital to teach us respect, manners and how to behave. We follow our parents example. But these people did not act in a way I respected. They didn’t even act like any child I have ever met. That acted out of selfishness and rudeness. And it is THAT, and that only, that I took away with me, from the encounters I had with them. How sad and upsetting. How do we act like this and when? Well, when we do not listen to love and kindness, but act out of selfish motives…….IM MORE IMPORTANT!……It’s about ME……I want……ME first!…..How many times have I had a filthy look from an older person if I am in front! I even had one try to run my guide dog and I over in a motor scooter, down a narrow alley, so they could get by. How rude! How selfish. That could have killed my dog, and damaged me. And that person is elderly! Are they going to change? I doubt it. A Gollum they will stay. Putting themselves first.

I digress. But can you see what I am saying? Every experience I have had, of hurt or rudeness has come from this generation. I am so shocked. And very, very concerned. For them! They are the ones that will be in care homes, expecting to be looked after. Who will want to do it kindly? Let us pray they will not reap what they have sown. And be at the mercy of somebody else who chooses to put themselves first. So the more we make decisions based on selfishness, the more we become entrenched in that behaviour. Till we see nothing else. And we actually JUSTIFY our behaviour! Like the audacity of the mat! Of course it is their money, to do with as they will. But I tell you now. I would be ashamed if I act like that. I hope to God, He is merciful and helps me not to be so selfish. I want my boys to have an inheritance. It may not be much. I don’t have much. But I want them to know how much I love them, and in what high regard I have them. To help them go forward and not to hinder them. So they will pass on the batten to their children too. In my attitude I have many Gollums that need changing. As in the words of Robert Anthony, which I love; ‘We neither get better or worse as we get older, only more like ourselves’ What am I like? Who am I choosing to model myself on? This world, and its values, or God and His? What was His? Jesus said of the way to live, and it is profound. ‘❤️The first commandment is this, You shall love the Lord your God, with all your heart, all your mind and all your soul. And the second is LIKE it, you shall love your neighbor as YOURSELF. On this hangs ALL the law!❤️’

What does it mean? On the surface it looks like that generation, of ME is right. How wrong! It means treat others how YOU want to be treated! Do you want respect? Give it. ❤️ Do you want to be cared for? Care for others. ❤️ Do you want material things and a home? Give that to others. ❤️ Do you want somebody to put you first? DO IT TO THEM! ❤️❤️❤️🌺❤️❤️❤️ How right the book of James was! ‘If you see your brother hunger, and you say to him, ‘May God bless you’, but do not feed him…..you are not in faith but error’ Why? Because you are not putting your brothers needs first. It’s lip service only. How would you like that done to you? How utterly selfish. So generous is our God, He said ‘If you just give a glass of WATER to one of mine, I will count it as a blessing to Me.’ Wow! But we begrudge even that glass of water. Especially as Christians, we have no excuse. If the widow who gave the mite, was great in Gods sight. And we know she will be blessed 100 fold, how much more a bacon sandwich…….I digress…And if we know God, we have less of an excuse, because we KNOW he can feed five thousand with five loaves and fishes, so he He can provide more when we give what we have. Even in the first days, humans have put themselves first. Cain, when asked where Abel was, stated, ‘Am I my brothers Keeper?’ YES! We are our brothers keeper, because we would want him to be ours! How can we be so rude? If I fell over and had a fit in the street, would I want somebody to help me? To ring for an ambulance and protect my dog and handbag? To phone my ICE? YES! So would you! I love the song, He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother. It’s beautiful, because it talks about helping the weaker. And in doing so, the singer finds joy. He finds pleasure. He finds RELATIONSHIP!

Reciprocity is beautiful. And if we want our planet to last we must make that a way of life. Gollum was not reciprocal. He was turned inwards only. It was all about his possession of the ring. He chose to be selfish. And became a mockery of who he was. And the price of that? My Lord! Loneliness, such loneliness. Hate of himself, despising of himself. Treating all life with contempt. He was a slave. But not just to the ring! To his darkness. To his selfishness. And did he stop? No. He kept feeding it. Yes, for a time he tried. But at the first hurdle he showed how deep that trying was. He reverted back to the selfish, murdering, contemptuous person he had chosen to be. And he tricked Frodo and took him to a place that was meant to cause his death. But you know what? It rebounded. And cost Gollum both his life and the life of the ring. But there is more. How we deceive ourselves! We tell ourselves it’s ok. We deserve better. We can put ourselves first. We can desert our neighbors. After all, who will look after number one, except ourselves? We justify and we deceive. And the motive? It’s all about ME. Why can’t we be truthful? Why can’t we admit, ‘I’m just being a selfish git!’ Because we want to look good. We don’t want people to know how self centred we are. So we justify our behaviour and blame the circumstances or other people. She got in my way………I only have a little left….there is not enough……..why should he expect that……on and on….becoming more and more like Gollum and less like Smeagol by the second. What are we going to do when we stand in front of God? Let us not deceive ourselves here. God KNOWS us. And like a tree when it is cut down, and you see the rings of its life, some where there were storms, some where there was extra rain. We will be naked before the great Judge. Worse. We will stand EXACTLY like we are. Who we have MADE or CHOSEN to be. Our motives exposed. God knows everything. Will we dare to justify our behaviour? Sadly, yes I think we will. Because that is what we have done since Adam. Shown contempt for God and personal responsibility. ‘It was the woman YOU gave me….’ ‘The snake tempted me…..’ Why not be truthful? ‘Lord, I’m sorry, I just did a major fuckup. Ate the apple you told me not too. Even worse. Let Eve do it first. Didn’t look after her and treat her as I would have wanted to be treated – warned and stopped, cos the consequences were devastating.’ WHAT could have happened if Adam had taken responsibility and thrown himself onto the mercy of God? A God who loves and whose mercy is new EVERY morning. Do we even get that? EVERY morning. Every. Single. Morning. What happened the day before is gone. It’s about today.

We get that choice EVERY day! Everyday we can choose to live better. Learn to overcome our faults and be more of the true ‘Smeagol’ and less of the ‘Gollum’ less of the person who is offensive to others and more of the person who is a pleasure to know. Because we all know, those who love us are good to us. And those who hate us aren’t. Yet, as Christians we are called to be good to those that hate us. Why? Because it gives the other person an opportunity to put down their Gollum behaviour and choose differently. Because this world shows us, if you are upset, you have the RIGHT to do upset to the person who upsets you. But as I have said before, an eye for and eye would leave the human race, blind, toothless and still tearing each other apart. That is what Gollum did to HIMSELF. By his choice to put himself first. So by loving those who hate us, we show them there is more. We offer them a choice. Just like Frodo did to Gollum. Will you choose to be Smeagol? Will you choose to be the person you were created to be, or will you be the person YOU have created…or chosen…to become? Me? Got more Gollums than I’m comfy with. Do I love my neighbor? Sometimes. Do I love my enemy? Nope. Not usually. I want to batter them. Make them hurt how they have hurt me. That lady who was so rude and said ‘Go away’ what if I had offered Jesus to her? I could have offered her a chance to change and that could have affected her whole life. But I was selfish. I put ME first…..God, I’m only just seeing this as I write it! What a loss. How devastating. That could have been a pivotal moment for her. But because of my justification of my own attitude, I did not offer it. God, I am so, so sorry. Lady, I am so, so, so sorry. I did not treat you as I would be treated. I treated you with the level of contempt you treated me. And I acted JUST like a Gollum. What a selfish thing to do. I am shocked. All this writing. To realize it’s ME who is in the wrong. For not being merciful and treating humans who make mistakes with the same love I would want for myself. Need to work on this. Don’t want to stay a slave. You see we are a slave to what ever we GIVE IN too, or to put it anther way, what ever has mastered us. A drug addict is a slave to drugs. An Alcoholic to alcohol. But you can also be a slave in your choices, beliefs and behaviours. I am a slave to anger. To hate. To fear. To condemnation and judgment. And that’s just a few. My goodness me. I need to spend sometime with God and sort myself out. I am so sorry guys. Just realised I’m more Gollum than Smeagol a lot of the time. Talk about mirror and planks. Just fallen smack over mine…..☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️